How To Prepare for the Kitty Apocolypse



Fear not! Cats are your friends!

Why hello! If you haven't noticed, all three of us girls here love cats. While some concern themselves with how most cats are secretly plotting their owner's demise, too many people ignore this problem, leaving nothing to discourage our cat's from killing us all in our sleep. Let's be honest; cats are clever, certainly clever enough to organize some sort of kitty Apocalypse. And they have motive as well. Thousands of cats live out on the streets, yearning for a better way of life, and a rebellion against humans would provide them with homes to sleep in. Also, the trash left over from the humans' regime would encourage the rodent population to "live long and prosper", providing a more than adequate food supply for the now dominate felines.
Yup.

But before you get to discouraged, allow me to inform you that there are in fact ways to arm yourself against the upcoming cat rebellion!  In fact, if we all follow these simple steps, it may yet be possible to squelch the uprising before it has even begun.



Playing with your cat is essential to your survival.

Step One- Get a cat. This may surprise you, since they are considered by many to be the enemy. But by owning a cat, (and treating it well) you convert one of the rebels to humanities' side, and when the apocalypse begins, you will have a protector.

Step Two-  Play with said cat. Step one will only work if the afore mentioned feline is content.

Step Three- Be aware of the threat- Don't let your cat spend too much time with "undesirables": cats who are sympathetic to the feline cause.

Step Four- Hone your cat's combat skills- When the time comes, your cat must be ready to defend you, as well as humanity. To prep your cat for battle, allow it to play outside (on a leash, and don't forget to enforce Step Three) and become aware of it's surroundings. Putt the Lion King on a loop, in order to remind it of it's primeval instincts. It may also be usefull to invest in combative armour (eBay has some nice selections)





Step Five- Be Ready- When war inevitably breaks out, you and your neighbors should follow a prepared combat plan and proceed calmly to your war base, allowing the batle to rage with minimum casualties.



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